I’m making plans for what happens next in Crafting my Life. I’ve just received the finished Crafting my Life e-Book from my editor, and I’m making plans to run my online class on living with intention for a third time. If you’re ready for a change in your life, and you want to be the first to hear what I do next, as well as be eligible for advance access and special pricing, subscribe to my mail list!
In my last post I talked about the failure story, which is a very common story that many of us repeat to ourselves. It contains themes like, “I never finish anything I start,” and, “I have great ideas, but I always mess them up.” The story isn’t true, of course, but we repeat it so often that we start to believe it. In the process, we come to think of ourselves as unworthy, and we start applying labels like quitter.
Quitter is something of a bad word in our culture. The strong work ethic that the adults in our lives instilled in us as children said that quitting is one of the worst things you can do. If you fall down, don’t quit. Get back up, dust yourself off, and just keep going.
Does avoiding quitting at all costs really work? I would argue that it doesn’t. Let me summarize why I think that quitting is sometimes justified.
Image credit: Carey Ciuro on Flickr
My Case for Quitting
- You may find yourself doing something that’s not right for you. It could be a small thing, like reading a book you’re really not enjoying. It could be a big thing, like finding yourself two years into a university degree in a field that you have come to hate. Whatever it is, the sooner you quit, the sooner you’ll be free to do something that really works for you.
- There are times when life quits for you. When you lose your job or you get sick or you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, quitting may be forced upon you.
- Sometimes we all take on more than we can handle, and if you find yourself in this situation, you’ll need to make some tough calls. Trying to do everything and running yourself into the ground isn’t going to get you very far. Setting priorities, and getting certain tasks off your plate either temporarily or permanently, works far better in the long run.
- You can learn a lot from your unfinished projects, because no effort in life is wasted. Quitting does not mean that you’ve failed, it means that you’ve tried something, gained an experience and probably learned something in the process.
Of course, there are times when we quit and we shouldn’t. Maybe you’re listening to your dragons and letting fear get the best of you. Maybe you’re having a hard time mustering up the energy to act. Or maybe you’re juggling too much and you’re having a hard time setting clear priorities. So how do you tell when quitting is called for, and when to stick with it? I suggest that you ask yourself this question:
Am I quitting this project because my dragons want me to, or because quitting is the best thing for me?
Once you have your answer, flip it on its head and ask yourself this question:
Am I sticking with this project because it’s the best thing for me, or because I’m afraid of being a quitter?
If you can answer those questions honestly, you will be a step closer to making an intentional choice about quitting, or sticking with it. If the best thing for you right now is to quit, that doesn’t make you a quitter. That makes you a person who is living with purpose, making clear choices, and moving in a positive direction. That’s something to be proud of.
Do you ever think of yourself as a quitter? Do you feel that quitting is sometimes justified? How do you tell when to stick with something and when to let it go? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Twitter: RachaelNevins
says:
Am I a quitter? Hell, yeah! And it’s generally served me well. I’m also the opposite of a quitter, though: with the things that matter to me, I keep showing up, even if I’m not “feeling it.”
Your questions about the dragons are perfect. Somewhere in The War of Art, Steven Pressfield says that you can use the Resistance (what he calls the dragons) as a compass. Whatever they’re telling you *not* to do is exactly what you *need* to do.
Rachael’s latest post..Doing More Nothing
I’ve always shared this philosophy. I had a friend in University that was in the 3rd year of a degree she hated. She knew she’d never work in that field and she wanted to pursue photography but she didn’t want to be a quitter or waste her parents’ money. I reminded her that if she contacted the registrar she could still get a 3 year general degree and then go to college for photography. And then I said, “If you stay, aren’t you just quitting on yourself?”
I’ve changed career paths a few times and I’ve never viewed it as quitting. I see it as sticking to a larger commitment to follow my passion. If the path to my passion has a few unexpected turns, so be it. With each one I learn more about myself and add to my skillset.
It’s one thing to quit a job or a career or a project, it’s another thing altogether to quit on your dreams or to quit taking care of yourself.
Kristin’s latest post..“Mommy, why are you so sad?” – Talking depression with my kid.
The best example of this for me was in college. I was a full-time student with a part-time job. I was in ROTC and was trying to get into Arnold Air Society. I had to be up at 4:30 every morning to do PT and get yelled at, and then do other things in the afternoon. The people running this organization, I came to learn, were unprofessional and inappropriate in many ways. (Not that it’s like that everywhere but it was at my school at that time.) And it was having a negative impact on my academics and my performance at work. So, I quit. It felt great
This is a timely post because today I have realized I probably need to take something off my plate. I’m just not sure what. With three kids and all the work they create, there’s little else that will fit on my plate in the first place! But I love the questions you’ve posed–looking at it this way is so helpful.
Jenny’s latest post..First day of homeschool: a lesson in abandoning perfectionism
I badly need this topic, I just want to share, If you know that things around are not good and well getting to worst, then quit from it, life is short, do not waste your time living with someones life! (JOBS)